BAYANI FERNANDO FOR PRESIDENT MAY 2010

Yeah, right. Is that some seriously disturbed prank?

Oh shit. Are you freaking kidding me? No, effin way.

It has been months since the first time I saw his poster along EDSA. Some could say that a post about it is a bit obsolete. But, really, no one could deny the effect of that poster to many citizens out there. To this day, almost seven months after the first tarpaulin was put up, it remains an eyesore to most, especially to me.

It has been plastered everywhere. Well, at least on his pink-and-blue-coated structures that are, unfortunately, all over Metro Manila. Every freaking day, as I go to the office, I see that ugliness at least ten times in one morning. It is but logical for me to feel so irate in the morning taking that I involuntarily bask in this repulsiveness ten times too many. I have never been a morning person. This poster gives me one more reason to hate waking up in the morning. Or abhor going to the office altogether.

There have been rumors that these ugly posters have an ulterior motive, a political one, at that. And now that it is seemingly out in the open, this Bayani-Fernando-for-President shit…is just that—shit.

So, hey, BF [insert sarcasm], I want to tell you something:

I DON’T WANT YOU TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT. If you do, I would not waste my time to even read whatever crap you put in that platform of yours, let alone vote for you.

What you’ve done to the “development” of Metropolitan Manila is a JOKE. I think your candidacy will also be nothing more than that.


WHY PINK?



I can’t bring myself to understand why the city I grew up in and I have come to love is now infested with your fugly pink structures. Of all colors, sir, pink is the shade you so bravely chose. You say that it IS actually the international traffic standard to color similar structures pink. So wait, are there pink traffic posts in Malaysia? Pink urinals in Thailand? Pink pedestrian walks in Indonesia? What’s that? There are none? Hah, international standard my behind. With that kind of reasoning, sir, I’m constantly in fear that if you do get your chance to head up for Malacañang, you’d repaint it pink as well.


CONCRETE BARRIERS are causing casualties here and there. Instead of addressing the issue, of adding reflectorized warning signs or of phasing these hazards out completely, you, dear sir, again, reason out that it should be the motorists who should straighten up. That if it were not for these irresponsible motorists, not one vehicle would crash into your infamous concrete barriers, say the ones near Crame, night after night (after night).



Taxi crashes into Concrete Barrier
notice that in the accident, the barriers, contrary to the statement of the good MMDA chief, were not properly made visible with reflectors and lights.

See statistics of accidents involving MMDA Concrete Barriers



So, BF, are you saying that these motorists brought it upon themselves? That all those accidents were caused by the motorist throwing himself in YOUR GOOD OFFICE’s concrete barriers? I don’t think so.


YOUR URINALS STINK. And frankly, it won’t surprise me if you do, too. I don’t know what came to your mind in putting those eyesores all around the metro. Not only eyesores, man, because they freaking reek! Shet. Ang baho. Promise. I guess you had the best of intentions, but, come on. One, they’re pink. And two, guys piss in it and the piss has nowhere to go! The piss spills over to the sidewalk most of the time. Eeeeew. My god, what kind of health principles did you learn in school?




the picture's a bit unclear, but I think you could see the piss here flowing onto the sidewalk.


YOUR BAD BOY-LOOK POSTER MAKES ME WANT TO BARF. Okay, so let’s see that again.




Watch TV report on BF's Poster
Metro GWAPO? Ah, yes. Talk about IRONY. Nakakasuka. To be honest, sir, in the beginning of your, I don’t know, CAREER[?], I must admit that I did like you. You had all these projects in all sorts of places, but never did I see your face plastered on any of them, salivating to be recognized by the people. I guess I preempted you, sir. Because, as I’ve said, when you put up your posters, you sent shivers up my spine. Kadiri, eh.

GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR SINGING CAREER. Wow. I heard that you are one of the aspiring celebrity contestants in GMA NETWORK’s Celebrity Duets. I think your 2010 candidacy preparations are going a little overboard. Bordering pathetic, even. Good job in making your image one step more similar to that of Lito Lapid, Ramon Revilla, Bong Revilla, and ERAP. I’ve had enough of entertainers-turned-politicians. What makes you think I’d feel differently with politicians-turned-entertainers?

Watch BF's duet with Renz Verano in an episode of Celebrity Duets

See why BF joined contest

DO THESE JOKES OF YOURS FORM PART OF YOUR CONCEPT OF DEVELOPMENT?

If it does, then, yes. You are a joke as well. This country has had its fair share of humor. Actually, I think it has had enough. Take my advice and don’t run for president. Better reflect first. So, when you decide to take a leak in one of your magnificent pink urinals, aim for bull’s-eye, gaze up the open sky, TAKE A DEEP BREATH, don't break into song, and start serious introspection. Please.