President's Son Buys Alcohol While the Metro Drowns in Ondoy

Ortigas Extension, Height of Ondoy Rains

Mikey Arroyo's Important Purchase, Height of Ondoy Rains

This is not a trick of any kind. This is the ultimate paparazzi picture (grabbed from Facebook, not my own). Shown here is Presidential Son Mikey Arroyo as he was seen buying liquor at Rustan's Supermarket in the middle of Ondoy's wrath.

There is a trend I see here. The first family has this penchant for celebrating like gluttons while the rest of the country is either in mourning or in state of calamity. A few months ago, PGMA and her cohorts were reported to have all those lavish dinners. These were held while President Cory was on her last days.

Now, Mr. Pogi Mikey is caught on his way to trying to get wasted while the rains poured and washed away the lives of many. Maybe we should schedule a Winnie Monsod interview again? For the full effect? I am just so interested what his palusot will be this time. I am so sure that with that palusot will be that trademark gum-showing grin he got from his mother.

[UPDATE] Mikey's reaction to the paparazzi shot

Tama bang pati facebook i-regulate? Pwede ba? Ang engot masyado ng comeback eh. Ang engot lang as in. And, by the way, your alibi is so lame, I want to serve it to Winnie Monsod and have her eat it for breakfast. I'd utterly enjoy that bit.

The President's Son Shaking in His Boots

For the latest Philippine news stories and videos, visit GMANews.TV

Dear Mikey,

A few things.

You're making your lawyers do an accountant's job. The SALN is, yes, a statutory requirement, but it is, first and foremost, a form of financial report. I do not see the logic there to have your lawyers do it. Unless you are more concerned with circumventing the law than issuing an accurate SALN.

You're pulling my leg. The corporation that you claim you have a 40% or so interest therein owns the California mansion. You figure that such a corporation is engaged in real estate. In short, assuming that what you're saying is legit, the mansion is part of the corporation's inventory (held for sale), and yet, it is used by the shareholders as a residence whenever they are in California. Such shareholders, you say, are relatives. Such reporting of shareholdings rather than real property on your SALN, you say, is justifiable. Such method of putting real property under the name of a corporation, you say, is legal. Because the corporation is separate and distinct from its stockholders? Eh, Mikey, have you heard of the doctrine of piercing the veil of corporate fiction? A corporation shall be denied from the use of such a corporate privilege if and when it is used "as a shield to further an end subversive of justice". Kakaaral ko lang 'yan. I can't get it wrong.

You must be kidding us. You want us to bring you to court just so we could prove that such irregularities in your SALN are, in fact, a direct product of corruption? Ha? Do we need a court to find out if dogs bark?

Ang obvious mo lang, 'te. Tigilan mo na kami. Namimihasa na ang pamilya niyo. Boo.

xtin

BF: The Smartest Presidentiable

It's a good thing I didn't watch the 2nd ANC Leadership Forum. I would have either died of nosebleeds or went on cardiac arrest from hysterical laughter.

S - as in Sobra na...
T - as in Tama na...
U - as in nakaka-Umay na...
P - as in Pwede ba?
I - as in Itigil na...
* - as in Dog.

Vow.

Metro Gwapito na ngayong 2009, Metro Gwapo sa 2010

WTF?!?

I have been so moved to write another post about my beloved BF (Bayani Fernando, of course...not boyfriend, pwede ba?). This catharsis was brought about not by the recent developments in Congress where some solons have (finally) realized how idiotic Metro Manila now looks after BF tickled it pink, but by a certain poster plastered on a large wall near the MMDA HQ along EDSA-Guadalupe:

HATE IT. Let me count the reasons why.

1. The poster has BF’s face on it. Need I say more? Actually, I think I do. If a year ago, our BF had a hilarious bad boy poster, he outshines that joke with this joke. What is the punch line this time, you ask? Isn’t it obvious? It is the way his pose tries so much to be candid. He tries so hard to be pensive here, but to me, he ends up looking really fake anyway.
2. It highlights the kind of brown-noser he is.
3. It depicts how his style of “developing” the metro actually made the metro more cluttered. Ang gulo naman kasi ng collage, eh no?
4. It suggests that what is actually clutter, he calls kaayusan and passes them off as his achievements in office.
5. It is a total waste. Of space. Of funds. And of time. Yours and, of course, mine.

I was trying to find time to take a picture of the poster myself. But then, I realized that I did not have to when I stumbled upon it over at the MMDA website. Wow. They’re really proud of it over there, aren’t they?

There are many things there in the website, actually, that most of us will find amusing, to say the least.

In my recent visit, I learned of MMDA’s new battle cry:

METRO GWAPITO NA NGAYONG 2009
METRO GWAPO SA 2010

2010, sir? Did you say 2010? Aba’y kung hindi ka naman ba isang dakot na presumable! You have assumed so many things. Among them are: one, that the word “gwapo” works well with you and; two, that no one will notice that your new battle cry is actually already a tagline for your presidential candidacy. You amaze me, sir, you do. Your class act amazes me.

Despite this amazement, come 2010, I reiterate that though I do not have the slightest idea who to vote for, I am sure who NOT to vote for. My vote will never be cast in favor of a brown noser or an engineer who likes to color his projects pink.

But I still want to thank BF. If not for his tasteful new posters along EDSA (one in EDSA-Guadalupe Northbound, another in EDSA-Magallanes Southbound), I would not have had the perfect opportunity to unburden myself of even just one nuisance in my life. Thanks na rin.

An Altercation

See that parking slot? It’s mine, not yours, dumbass.

Two nights ago, I came home at around 1am after attending a so-so concert, which, by the way, I should also be blog-ranting about.

Upon entering the compound, I took a quick look at my parking spot. You know how it is in residential complexes. Your unit gets assigned a parking slot and when other tenants see that your slot is constantly unoccupied, they’d simply park their other cars in your slot, to their heart’s content. This I learned not early on, but only just last summer when another tenant got into this irritating habit of parking his cars in my assigned slot. I never really did mind that he did so up until a friend told me that I should assert my right over the parking slot. After all, I paid for it and this asshole who keeps on using it did not. Nor is he paying me.

There had been a couple of times when I attempted to, yes, assert this so-called right. To my dismay, however, I have only come across the driver of this alleged asshole. At first, I was, er, pleasant to said driver. I told him, nicely if you must ask, that I have been inconvenienced by their use of my parking slot.

Of course that was just an exaggeration. This “inconvenience” that I speak of relates not to any time my car was deprived of its place in the universe, the universe being the compound. I don’t have a car nor do I have any recurring and regular visitors who do. So this “inconvenience” is solely based on the pro-bono use of that little parcel of concrete, without my consent.

Ayaw ko nang naiisahan. ‘Yun lang naman talaga ‘yun.

But apparently, my calm statements toward the driver didn’t ever make a difference. Since the first time I talked to him, there had been so many times I have caught one of their vehicles in my slot. I have never been able to comprehend why the asshole [the driver’s employer] can afford to have more than one car, but can only manage to secure himself just one parking slot. Come on, does he think that he will just freeload off the other tenants’ slots? Well, maybe. But there is no way in the freaking world will he be able to do that with this tenant.

That is why it became a habit of mine to always check this slot in-question out, whether or not there is an unauthorized occupant.

That night, as mentioned, another vehicle was there, yet again. This time, it was a pick-up truck. As if trying to spite me or something, the license plate even had “CONG 8” on it, as if I was about to believe that (1) it was an authentic government official protocol plate, (2) it was not just an ordinary commemorative plate of some medical institution the asshole simply had customized, and (3) he indeed was a solon. Pwede ba?

Me being the normal me, an away a day and all, I slowly got into my usual theatrics, although minding that it was already an unholy hour and many of my co-tenants were already asleep. I threw a discreet yet moving bitch fit upon calling the on-duty guard’s attention. I made it a point, though, to express anger on the asshole and not on the guard. The guard might think that I was getting mad at him. I, of course, didn’t want that as I wanted his support and assistance in the matter.

“Ma’am, sige po, pupuntahan ko na lang sila para tanungin kung pwede na alisin ng may-ari itong kotse nila,” suggested the guard, to which I agreed. I have never wanted to disturb anyone during their sleep, especially in that unholy hour, just so I could satisfy my whim-slash-bitch-fit. But enough was enough. My patience, if you could really call it that, could only go so far.

I readied my self for a full-blown mahadera/palengkera mode altercation. I was rehearsing insults in my head while I was waiting for the guard and the asshole to come down from the third floor, where the asshole’s unit was.

After a few minutes, the guard came down, alone, so I asked him, “O, nasaan na?”

“Bababa na daw po.”

True enough, a few seconds after, I see this creature in a tattered sando and jogging pants to match approaching the guard. I give him my patent hostile look, the one where I look at him from head to toe with a facial expression saying that, “So…’yan na ‘yun? Eew. No contest naman pala.”

The asshole saw me with this look on my face, yes, but he took one look at me and, just when I was about to jump to a verbal battle, he looked away and, instead, asked the guard, in an irritated-slash-inconvenienced manner, “Anong oras ba dumating ‘yang pick-up?” referring to the pick-up that was unlawfully parked in my slot.

Wow, ah. So are you trying to tell me that you had no idea that your friggin' pick up was parked in my slot? In short, it wasn't at all your fault that the location of your vehicle has inconvenienced another tenant? Maryosep. Pwede ba, hindi bagay sa pagmumukha mo ang pa-inosente. You reek of dishonesty and un-fairplay.

He walked towards the slot. He got in his pick-up. Just when he was about to move it out of the parking slot, I gave him one last look, but again, he looked away, but of course in a manner which TRIED, although pathetically, to tell me that he didn’t mind at all that he had inconvenienced me. He drove away and found another slot, not his yet again, to exploit.

“Okay ‘yun ah. Hindi man lang humingi ng paumanhin,” I commented to the guard.

“Gan’un po talaga ‘yun, ma’am. Mayabang po talaga. Kaaway din po namin ‘yan, eh.”

“Figures,” I thought.

I thanked the guard for his help, after which I finally went home and took a rest at 2am. I didn’t immediately doze off. Maybe because I was still irked by the asshole. I was thinking very intently how and why creatures like him have to be such jerks. Walking smugly with the attitude that they are above all laws, even those which are mere community regulations.

I haven’t felt that I have won this battle yet. At least I got him off my property, so to speak. Now I must hold caution because with people like that who think that they are “in power” [cue “CONG 8” congressman daw ‘o license plate] and having had an altercation with such a creature, trouble couldn’t be brewing too far from me.

*I’d actually mention his name here, but nah, I want to live a bit longer and to not have my new car, if ever get one, scratched or its tires slashed by an anonymous hater. I know that is just how these creatures operate. Their retaliation will expectedly be as cheap and irritating as buying second hand bed linen.

An Open Letter for a Euro General's Homecoming

For the latest Philippine news stories and videos, visit GMANews.TV

I should have posted this the other day, but due to time constraints, mainly me rushing out of the office to go to school for a dreaded final exam, I wasn't able to.

Before I begin, you should know that I'm out of the country right now and, for obvious reasons, I may be more out-of-the-loop than usual. I haven't heard (nor have I looked it up) of any follow up news on Dela Paz. That's a bit better I guess, lest my vacation gets ruined by another corrupt policeman.

An Open Letter (to the extent and bounds of this openness, that I'm not quite certain) upon the arrival of Former PNP Controller Dela Paz...

Dear Sir,

Welcome back!

How was your trip?

Did you have fun? I think you did. With PhP 5.9 million you had lying around, I think you had all the resources to make the Interpol fun for you.

By the way, what was that convention for anyway? I didn't bother looking it up, Sir, as I am sure, so sure that I'm betting my life, that it was for a truly worthwhile purpose, though such purpose remains yet to be seen (or believed in). I guess no one should doubt the legitimacy of your trip and the contention chosen to attend it, them being a whole bunch of your kumpares in the force and, of course, their wives, your kumares. I'm sure it was purely coincidental that all of you, being the close friends that you all are, were chosen to attend that one-of-a-kind Russian convention.

Oh, what were you and Mr. Ermita saying regarding the purpose of the money you brought with you? You say the MEDIA were the ones confusing everyone, indiscriminately and recklessly using "contingent funds" and "advances" as if they are two different things when, as Ermita so gallantly and smugly pointed out, they are one and the same (an advance made for contingent funds)? Shet. Ang tatanga nga naman ng MEDIA. MEDIA ha? Shet. Of all people, sila pa ang nagkamali.

But you know, in things like this one, one could not help but think that there might be SOME truth in what the MEDIA are saying. Never mind that I have spent four freaking years (not counting another four years of finance education) auditing the contingent funds and advances of many different companies...Sir, baka nga naman magkaiba yun?

Ang labis ko lang namang ipinagtataka, General, although this is just a query, not at all am I incriminating you in any way whatsoever... Have you not retired already? From my crude knowledge of how the standard operating procedures on taking out advance goes, is not that before an employee retires or for some reason leaves a job/company, he/she must pay any outstanding advances to his name in order to be cleared for resignation? This is to ensure that all it is paid and to avoid people borrowing money and running away from their obligation to pay for them. Well, I MIGHT be wrong on this, Sir. Kung kayo nga eh, General pang itinuring, you bypassed that system. The PNP may have a MORE SOPHISTICATED expenditure cycle that a lowly auditor like me would never comprehend. Maybe retired generals are allowed to make advances from the PNP funds even after they are out of the service. Besides, you were the comptroller yourself. I'm sure it was not at all difficult for you to approve your own application for advances.

I heard you were planning to make a liquidation form of all your expenses while you and your ravishing cohorts were enjoying a contingent fund fit for a whole district of public schools. Good luck with that. Sir, tip from the wise. Collect all possible official receipts to support your liquidation form, okay? File them all properly so that everyone will believe you that the fund and your stay in Moscow were totally legit.

At this point, Sir, I want to wish you ALL THE LUCK IN THE WORLD. As in all. Pati na bad luck. Nakakasuka na kasing maging sarcastic eh. Sa mga pinakamababang uri ng taong kagaya mo, sarcasm would prove futile, as your stupidity would seem to bar you from getting its point.

So sir, advances for contingency fund ba 'kamo? Ha. Lokohin mo ang lelong mong panot. Gago.

Best regards,
xtin

BAYANI FERNANDO FOR PRESIDENT MAY 2010

Yeah, right. Is that some seriously disturbed prank?

Oh shit. Are you freaking kidding me? No, effin way.

It has been months since the first time I saw his poster along EDSA. Some could say that a post about it is a bit obsolete. But, really, no one could deny the effect of that poster to many citizens out there. To this day, almost seven months after the first tarpaulin was put up, it remains an eyesore to most, especially to me.

It has been plastered everywhere. Well, at least on his pink-and-blue-coated structures that are, unfortunately, all over Metro Manila. Every freaking day, as I go to the office, I see that ugliness at least ten times in one morning. It is but logical for me to feel so irate in the morning taking that I involuntarily bask in this repulsiveness ten times too many. I have never been a morning person. This poster gives me one more reason to hate waking up in the morning. Or abhor going to the office altogether.

There have been rumors that these ugly posters have an ulterior motive, a political one, at that. And now that it is seemingly out in the open, this Bayani-Fernando-for-President shit…is just that—shit.

So, hey, BF [insert sarcasm], I want to tell you something:

I DON’T WANT YOU TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT. If you do, I would not waste my time to even read whatever crap you put in that platform of yours, let alone vote for you.

What you’ve done to the “development” of Metropolitan Manila is a JOKE. I think your candidacy will also be nothing more than that.


WHY PINK?



I can’t bring myself to understand why the city I grew up in and I have come to love is now infested with your fugly pink structures. Of all colors, sir, pink is the shade you so bravely chose. You say that it IS actually the international traffic standard to color similar structures pink. So wait, are there pink traffic posts in Malaysia? Pink urinals in Thailand? Pink pedestrian walks in Indonesia? What’s that? There are none? Hah, international standard my behind. With that kind of reasoning, sir, I’m constantly in fear that if you do get your chance to head up for Malacañang, you’d repaint it pink as well.


CONCRETE BARRIERS are causing casualties here and there. Instead of addressing the issue, of adding reflectorized warning signs or of phasing these hazards out completely, you, dear sir, again, reason out that it should be the motorists who should straighten up. That if it were not for these irresponsible motorists, not one vehicle would crash into your infamous concrete barriers, say the ones near Crame, night after night (after night).



Taxi crashes into Concrete Barrier
notice that in the accident, the barriers, contrary to the statement of the good MMDA chief, were not properly made visible with reflectors and lights.

See statistics of accidents involving MMDA Concrete Barriers



So, BF, are you saying that these motorists brought it upon themselves? That all those accidents were caused by the motorist throwing himself in YOUR GOOD OFFICE’s concrete barriers? I don’t think so.


YOUR URINALS STINK. And frankly, it won’t surprise me if you do, too. I don’t know what came to your mind in putting those eyesores all around the metro. Not only eyesores, man, because they freaking reek! Shet. Ang baho. Promise. I guess you had the best of intentions, but, come on. One, they’re pink. And two, guys piss in it and the piss has nowhere to go! The piss spills over to the sidewalk most of the time. Eeeeew. My god, what kind of health principles did you learn in school?




the picture's a bit unclear, but I think you could see the piss here flowing onto the sidewalk.


YOUR BAD BOY-LOOK POSTER MAKES ME WANT TO BARF. Okay, so let’s see that again.




Watch TV report on BF's Poster
Metro GWAPO? Ah, yes. Talk about IRONY. Nakakasuka. To be honest, sir, in the beginning of your, I don’t know, CAREER[?], I must admit that I did like you. You had all these projects in all sorts of places, but never did I see your face plastered on any of them, salivating to be recognized by the people. I guess I preempted you, sir. Because, as I’ve said, when you put up your posters, you sent shivers up my spine. Kadiri, eh.

GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR SINGING CAREER. Wow. I heard that you are one of the aspiring celebrity contestants in GMA NETWORK’s Celebrity Duets. I think your 2010 candidacy preparations are going a little overboard. Bordering pathetic, even. Good job in making your image one step more similar to that of Lito Lapid, Ramon Revilla, Bong Revilla, and ERAP. I’ve had enough of entertainers-turned-politicians. What makes you think I’d feel differently with politicians-turned-entertainers?

Watch BF's duet with Renz Verano in an episode of Celebrity Duets

See why BF joined contest

DO THESE JOKES OF YOURS FORM PART OF YOUR CONCEPT OF DEVELOPMENT?

If it does, then, yes. You are a joke as well. This country has had its fair share of humor. Actually, I think it has had enough. Take my advice and don’t run for president. Better reflect first. So, when you decide to take a leak in one of your magnificent pink urinals, aim for bull’s-eye, gaze up the open sky, TAKE A DEEP BREATH, don't break into song, and start serious introspection. Please.