An Open Letter for a Euro General's Homecoming

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I should have posted this the other day, but due to time constraints, mainly me rushing out of the office to go to school for a dreaded final exam, I wasn't able to.

Before I begin, you should know that I'm out of the country right now and, for obvious reasons, I may be more out-of-the-loop than usual. I haven't heard (nor have I looked it up) of any follow up news on Dela Paz. That's a bit better I guess, lest my vacation gets ruined by another corrupt policeman.

An Open Letter (to the extent and bounds of this openness, that I'm not quite certain) upon the arrival of Former PNP Controller Dela Paz...

Dear Sir,

Welcome back!

How was your trip?

Did you have fun? I think you did. With PhP 5.9 million you had lying around, I think you had all the resources to make the Interpol fun for you.

By the way, what was that convention for anyway? I didn't bother looking it up, Sir, as I am sure, so sure that I'm betting my life, that it was for a truly worthwhile purpose, though such purpose remains yet to be seen (or believed in). I guess no one should doubt the legitimacy of your trip and the contention chosen to attend it, them being a whole bunch of your kumpares in the force and, of course, their wives, your kumares. I'm sure it was purely coincidental that all of you, being the close friends that you all are, were chosen to attend that one-of-a-kind Russian convention.

Oh, what were you and Mr. Ermita saying regarding the purpose of the money you brought with you? You say the MEDIA were the ones confusing everyone, indiscriminately and recklessly using "contingent funds" and "advances" as if they are two different things when, as Ermita so gallantly and smugly pointed out, they are one and the same (an advance made for contingent funds)? Shet. Ang tatanga nga naman ng MEDIA. MEDIA ha? Shet. Of all people, sila pa ang nagkamali.

But you know, in things like this one, one could not help but think that there might be SOME truth in what the MEDIA are saying. Never mind that I have spent four freaking years (not counting another four years of finance education) auditing the contingent funds and advances of many different companies...Sir, baka nga naman magkaiba yun?

Ang labis ko lang namang ipinagtataka, General, although this is just a query, not at all am I incriminating you in any way whatsoever... Have you not retired already? From my crude knowledge of how the standard operating procedures on taking out advance goes, is not that before an employee retires or for some reason leaves a job/company, he/she must pay any outstanding advances to his name in order to be cleared for resignation? This is to ensure that all it is paid and to avoid people borrowing money and running away from their obligation to pay for them. Well, I MIGHT be wrong on this, Sir. Kung kayo nga eh, General pang itinuring, you bypassed that system. The PNP may have a MORE SOPHISTICATED expenditure cycle that a lowly auditor like me would never comprehend. Maybe retired generals are allowed to make advances from the PNP funds even after they are out of the service. Besides, you were the comptroller yourself. I'm sure it was not at all difficult for you to approve your own application for advances.

I heard you were planning to make a liquidation form of all your expenses while you and your ravishing cohorts were enjoying a contingent fund fit for a whole district of public schools. Good luck with that. Sir, tip from the wise. Collect all possible official receipts to support your liquidation form, okay? File them all properly so that everyone will believe you that the fund and your stay in Moscow were totally legit.

At this point, Sir, I want to wish you ALL THE LUCK IN THE WORLD. As in all. Pati na bad luck. Nakakasuka na kasing maging sarcastic eh. Sa mga pinakamababang uri ng taong kagaya mo, sarcasm would prove futile, as your stupidity would seem to bar you from getting its point.

So sir, advances for contingency fund ba 'kamo? Ha. Lokohin mo ang lelong mong panot. Gago.

Best regards,
xtin