Wednesday, May 28, 2008

GWAPING

The past few weeks, the days after I came back from my CamSur vacation to be exact, I have been slacking off at work. Well it’s not so much as slacking off as it is actually pumi-petiks, as the slang goes. That is the beauty of meeting the deadline. Work load peaks right before the said deadline, but if you do beat it, it’s all downhill after that. On some days, it’s even a free fall.

Even the Creator took a rest after a hard week’s work:

God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day. Thus the heavens the earth were completed in all their vast array. By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing ; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating all he had done. (GEN1:31-2:2)

Of course, I am no god. I did rest the day after I beat that nasty deadline of mine (and made that day holy), but ever since, I have not done so much as lift a finger and break a sweat.

Though it feels utterly relaxing to be ridded of workplace worries, sometimes, it does get a bit boring. I often find myself now simply staring blankly at my monitor, at a loss of what to do next; not that I don’t know where to start, but that there is nothing more to do.

I now proceed with this entry to prevent another potentially boring chain of events to ensue. And is there a more full-proof way than to start yet another streak of virtual people watching? Oh my, did you hear that? Oh, my bad. It was just me and the sound of (upcoming) satisfaction.

To kick things off, I think of nothing but asinine and tacky words and phrases like tropa, like I did a few blog entries back. But today, the winning word, reeking of jologs, is “GWAPING”.

My earliest recollections of this word involve three guys named Mark Anthony, Jomari, and Eric. “We are…THE GWAPINGS!!!” I’d post a picture of the Gwapings but it has been difficult to find any (too bad).

Gwaping” is a play on the word “gwapo” or a local term for a good-looking guy.

An analogy: If cute is to cutie, gwapo is to gwaping.

An individual who is ignorant to the general type of people who use the word “gwaping” would think that I would find pictures of Piolo and Dingdong dead-ringers if I google “gwaping”. Ignorance is bliss, I tell you. I hit the search button and find my way to many images from Friendster and Multiply, all somehow captioned with “gwaping”.

***

PROFILE NAME: Anthony
IN PHOTO: (Front row) The long lost back-up singers of Vingo and Jimmy of the April Boys (Back row L-R) Andres de Panadero, Lemuel Arespajenante

I have never seen studio pictures as tacky up until just recently when I saw pictures like these. I mean tacky na nga, my gosh, why in the world do you have to take your shirts off? Are you trying to epitomize what a gwaping is or do you just want to see me die of laughter? Really. I don’t get it, boys.

***


PROFILE NAME: Luchie
SEXUAL ORIENTATION: As manly as David Archuleta and Clay Aiken


Ah, yes, another studio picture. Two things: One, i2i should stop producing cheap aviator sunglasses so that people like Luchie and myself could stop daydreaming that we could get away with the look. And two, Luchie dear, shouldn’t you have left the bag out of the picture? Are you going somewhere or are your winnings from the last Mr. Pogi(ta) Search in there? The whole 500 pesos? Holy shit, alert the police! Oh yeah, and one last thing. Luchie, patay ‘ata ang mga kuko mo (I think your nails are dead). That makes three things, damn it.

***

PROFILE NAME: Jun
PHOTO CAPTION: “me and my frends ‘rolly & viva’ ang panget nila no


Wow. Again with the topless member of the group. Really? I mean REALLY? With matching “hang loose” AND “west side” hand gestures, man, that looks so good. This picture is so nostalgic. The hair, the shirt, the visor, the image resolution…it’s so reminiscent of the 90s. The era of the original Gwapings. Well, there are the three of them (Jun, Rolly, Viva). I think we could pass them off as the modern-day Gwapings, right? Jun, Jun, Jun. Your friends are not panget. Cut them some slack. Gwapings nga kayo, eh!

***

PROFILE NAME: Carlo
SHOUTOUT: “Hi guys! im a gay! i wnt a txtm8 and relationship of guy!i need with muscle and cute! If you? add this friendster. Carlo*****_24@yahoo.com or u may txt me in this no.0910-634-**** Thanks a lot!... muaaaawah,"
SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Man as man can get

And here’s our winner right here. Weren’t the BENCH BODY 2008 judges right on the dot when they made Carlo the queen, er, the king of the contest? (Note that I was not the one who put the Bench Body caption in there, God knows it was there when I grabbed the photo). Who can resist that captivating smile, the wallet in his back pocket that is probably full of (milk) money, and his washboard abs? Yes, you heard me. He didn’t hold his tank top up for nothing, you know. So you guys, er, girls out there…you better call Carlo right away. He’s one hunk of a catch, indeed! That’s right, Carlo, pose ka lang diyan…maybe you’ll find your soulmate in a couple of days lang…Maybe LUCHIE is interested.


***

And there you have it. Phew! I sure cannot stop laughing, er, admiring these muy gwapitos! Gwaping as gwaping can get…I KNOW RIGHT? This wave of virtual people watching sure did steer me away from another potentially boring day.

But as for now, my work here is done. I look back at the things I have found and it was good. Very, VERY good. Off to the next wave. What idiotic word will I come up with next?

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Usher and Chris Brown in CamSur (and other paparazzied finds in CamSur)

Now that the busy season at work is over, not a single moment is going to be wasted. I am now joyfully in my summer vacation mode, complete with daydreams of the beach, ultimately triggered by reminiscent odours of my sunblock lotion.

And for my first trip this summer, several friends and I went to CamSur last week. I was having fun with the wakeboarding and the hiking (or whatever it is you call following a predetermined and paved mountain trail--just have to keep it real...I don't want to sound as if I'm one heck of a seasoned mountaineer...because a mountaineer I am NOT, which is quite obvious with my "hiking" attire)...


...but no amount of enjoyment will rid me of my paparazzi roots. But before I proceed with sharing my precious CamSur finds, I want you to familiarize yourself with these photos. I would like to ask you to pay particular attention to the hats the guys in these pictures are wearing.


The guy in the first picture and the guy on the right in the other picture are both wearing what has been called a flat cap(/hat). This type of hat mostly reminds of the two celebrities whose pictures appear above: Chris Brown and Usher. I am a fan of these two artists, so just imagine how delighted I was when i saw them in CamSur...or at least when I thought I saw them.

So yeah, there I was, enjoying the delicious snack I was having at around 4:30PM at the the CWC (CamSur WaterSports Center) resto, when a vision, albeit almost a vague silhouette, of who I thought was either Usher or Chris Brown, came to my all too scrutinizing view...it must have been the cap...I don't know...

When the ray of sun was finally blocked from my direct line of sight, I stopped squinting and realized that this Chris Brown-wannabe was simply yet another Pinoy douchebag. I've already mentioned that douchebag membership has gone haywire, so I should have seen it coming.


My friends and I (especially myself, of course) could not stop laughing upon the discovery of this splendid find. All this with us intentionally ignorant of the fact that the douchebag in-question was, in fact, less than 5 meters away from our table.


Humorous because of 3 things:

  1. this guy must have thought that (a) he was an upper-class English man [see wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flat_cap] or (b) he was some kind of Chris Brown or Usher about to attend the Grammy's or (c) he was in the English countryside, that he could pull a flat cap off

  2. i never, EVER, thought that despite this season's ridiculous summer heat, someone would even start to contemplate wearing an arm-warmer as a mere accessory
  3. we were in CamSur. Not in some joke of a party. Which fact doubles the idiotic factor that was his outfit.

If you are thinking that "flat cap/arm sock guy" was my only CamSur find, you should be ashamed of yourself. You should never underestimate my overdedication to other people's business. I have more.

Not only did I see a specie of the Pinoy douchebag, that came in the form of the "flat cap/arm sock guy", I also had a sighting of another douchebag, brandishing her oh so fashionable cap, ala gigster...




...an appearance of a super cool circle of douchebags, complete with color coordination. I think they all look good in pink, don't you? Jeans, man...do wear jeans in a place like CWC... And the chestnut brown hair, ugh...to die for...

...not to forget the circle's ring leader...with matching white sneakers and ultra hip bangketa/baller id bracelet...and of course the metallic belt to boot and fatigue cargo shorts...all these, again, in a place like CWC...


And...to cap this blog's CamSur edition, I now present you "tan guy":


Beautiful...golden brown tan in the shape of a tank top...expensive bling...super defined abs (or ab)...what more could you ask for?



Ahhhh, CamSur. What a trip. What a trip, indeed.