Today was a Bad Day

Busy season is here. Damn it.

If you would remember, this blog was a product of the busy season. Just to refresh your memory, this busy season that I speak of is that time at work where the load just comes rushing in. This period is also known as the tax season—the months leading to April 15.

Emotions are at their all time high in the office. Of course, if there would be a ranking of sorts in this category, I would be numero uno. Not that I crumble under pressure. If some people eat when they are stressed out, me? I pick fights. I fret. I bitch. And I bitch some more. That's because during the busy season, I am perpetually in a bad mood. I should actually wear a warning sign saying, "BACK OFF", just to spare some innocent souls from my wrath.

Today, my eyebrows spent 80% of the day together, with the other a bit raised at times, and my lips were curled in hostility. That just means one thing. Busy season na naman. Shet. Away na 'to.

My day's start was not that bad really. I was early for work and, of course, nothing would beat me being on time. I was upbeat and all, ready to conquer the work place when…

My manager engaged me in a "it's your word against mine" game. This is, of course, a game no lowly senior has yet to win. "Sabi mo kaya sa'kin huwag ko tignan [ang documents]…" This senior said. "Ano ka? Hindi ko sinabi 'yan ano?" Not wanting to go even further with this pointless conversation, I listened to what was left to be said and I walked out, disgruntled to say the least.

Eager to do something to brighten up the rest of my afternoon, I went to Glorietta to meet a couple of friends for lunch. The lunch was good and the company was even better. Had I known the string of unfortunate events that would transpire thereafter, I wouldn't have left and gone back to work.

But I did and then, my bad day started to live up to its name. One mishap at a time.

I walked under the scorching heat, in a jacket, along Ayala, just so I could get a cab. I had to go to the client, as it was part of the punishment from losing the "it's your word against mine" game. I couldn't find a cab so I had to relocate from time to time. I also had my laptop with me and, gahd, was it heavy! I was sweaty and admittedly not pleasant anymore. I scored a cab an hour later only to find out…

My colleague, who I was going to meet at the client's and was my sole purpose for going there, has gone back to the office. "Hello, *****? Bakit ka bumalilk ng office?" I asked. In a voice of a little terrified girl, "Ay sorry po. Akala ko dito [office] tayo magkikita." Not wanting to scare her off this early in the busy season, I fought the feeling of shouting at her and at anyone else within the vicinity. I thought I was doing great, but…

The damn cab driver "lame-excused" his way to getting ten pesos from me. Since I was not far from the office when I got my colleague's call, I just asked the driver to turn the next corner and bring me back. Although the ride was shorter than my temper, the driver managed to get 50 pesos from me. The meter said "40.00" , but when I handed him a 50-peso bill, this extortionist retorted in this lame but classic excuse, "Ay ma'am, wala pa po akong barya." Neither did I. Not wanting to shout at this beast of a human being, I mumbled cuss words to myself and stepped out of his cab. Then all of a sudden…

My colleague, who I was going to meet at the client's but has gone back to the office, suddenly popped out of nowhere catching me in the worst mood I've had in months. "Boss! Wait lang," I told my colleague in a voice that filled the lobby. I didn't realize it then but a friend had seen me that moment and told me later in the day how sungit I was to the staff. I felt bad really, but God knows that I was trying. And since HE wanted to test me even more…

The lobby security guard nagged me to clip my damn ID on. Of course, as I didn't have it ready, I had to scramble around the insides of my heavy bag. I didn't find it then so I just went ahead without putting my ID on. But the guard started to insist that I do. "Ugh. Konti na lang talaga, sisigaw na ako…" I mumbled to myself. And do you know what the guard told me? "Weh bakit kayo nagagalit?!?"

ABA'Y P*CHA NAMAN EH. HOY, HINDI KITA KINAKAUSAP, NOH? NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, MORON. ALAM MO BA KUNG ANO ANG PINAGDAANAN KO THE LAST HOUR? IKAW NGA SA LAKI NG KATAWAN MO, ANDITO KA LANG SA MAY AIRCON AT LILIM EH. ANO PA AKO NA NAARAWAN, NAGLAKAD NG DALAWANG KILOMETRO, UMALIS, BUMALIK, AT DINAKDAKAN NG PANGIT AT HAMPAS-LUPANG GAYA MO? SO TINGIN MO SA'YO LANG AKO GALIT? GALIT AKO SA BUONG MUNDO, P*NYETA!

Of course, I didn't say that. And not being able to say that to his ugly face is what triggered this post, actually. Argh. Not wanting to make a scene, I just said, "Hindi ako nagagalit," as I was trying to fight back the urge of slapping him senseless. Just when I thought I've had enough, I got into the elevator and…

The freaking operator misses my floor. Argh. Argh. Argh. "Boss?!" I called his attention. He just smiled and never apologized. In fact, he was more into making something out of my bad mood than he was trying to become apologetic. I gathered that he was thinking that him missing my stop was the SOLE reason I was in a bad mood, therefore, I was ultimately unreasonable and nagiinarte. Not wanting to make matters worse, I looked down, tried to avoid unconsciously rolling my eyes at the operator, pinched my cheek to numb the urge of bursting, and alighted at the tenth floor, after a round trip elevator ride.

I got to my workspace and thought, "I am never going to do that again." Never will I let them off like that. Never will I put their own feelings first. Never will I hold back. Ever. Again. Nagtitimpi lang ako, but since busy season na, it's this bitch's time to shine. Magalit na ang magalit. Mapaiyak ko na, kung mapaiyak ko. Kung ayaw niyo ng away, better get out of my way. Don't say I didn't warn you.

My Annoying Seatmates Here at Work [Part 1]

Today is the day I shall break the ice. My silence stops here.

Over the last few weeks, I have grown FOND of my seatmates here at work. They remind me of my days as a new hire in our firm. Back when I was four years younger…four years stupider…and definitely four years more annoying.

I think you know what I mean.

It’s like after we spend three years in high school and we finally become seniors. It’s the way we see the people from the lower batches, especially the froshies. It’s the way the younger ones seem more annoying both in how they look and act. It’s the way we suddenly wonder if we were that stupid when we were in the same stage.
I could go about work without noticing them, really, but the annoying things that my seatmates are into are just too glaring to just be passed upon.

Let me just paint you a picture of how the set-up here in the office is like:

Our work area simply a vast common room where there are individual workspaces, no dividers, and no cubicles (at least for those who are not yet managers). There is a hodgepodge of files, determining the ownership of which will truly be a logistical nightmare. The place redefines overcrowding, really. A workspace typically intended for one is occupied by two people, or even more. It is where a simple breathe becomes an invasion of the next person’s privacy.

Could you just imagine how inevitable it is for each one of us here in the office to be familiar with our seatmates’ goings on? All that even when we do not intend or even want to have the slightest idea? We can’t help but be all connected, however annoying that connection might turn out to be. Annoying enough to muster that feeling of wanting to box the next person. Well, at least on my part.

I have at least five officemates within the 3 meter radius of my workspace, all of whom are at least 3 batches lower than me. They have this tendency to engage in “activities” which, to my “seasoned” and “mature” senses, are unreasonably juvenile, tantamount to nuisances, thus, annoying.

Now, I would like to introduce you to my seatmates. This time, however, I will have no accompanying pictures. I still have mercy, you know, however others might think otherwise. Besides, since filing libel charges against bloggers might be the next fad, I think making these out as blind items, at least for this post, would lessen my litigation expenses.


First of [maybe] 5 parts…

Discreetly Haliparot Girls
The name speaks for itself, really. These supposed-to-be epitomes of Maria Clara, hailing from the province, and seemingly exuding of rural innocence and womanhood, are not at all what they project themselves to be.

Discreetly Haliparot Girl #1 (DHG1) sits to my left. She is supposedly a barrio lass: speaks like she’s always whispering, sneezes like an itsy bitsy mouse, gives out a shy smile at everyone, takes itsy bitsy bites off her food, wipes the side of her mouth with her embroidered hanky after she takes a bite of her sandwich, engages in public display of physical intimacy…

Wait…what was that?

Yes, that’s right. DHG1 morphs into this creature completely devoid of intimacy issues every time her boyfriend drops by to check on her:


Boyfriend of DHG1: [in disgusting baby talk] O…bakit hindi ka sumama mag-lunch? Magugutom ka niyan? [steals a 1/8 torrid smooch]

DHG1: [smooches back]

DHG1: [in even more appalling baby talk] Eh kasi…ang dami ko pa gawin eh… [gives out a cutesy pout]

xtin: [pretends not to notice, but is nevertheless annoyed]


Apparently, the Maria Clara of today is overly affectionate and annoying. And when such attitude is displayed in the office, I don’t know because I might be wrong on this, isn’t that considered inappropriate? It’s one thing when she’s like this with her boyfriend. It’s just a whole other ball game when she does the same thing to other guys. Guys. Plural.


Other guy/s: [in an I’m-your-concerned-friend-slash-shoulder-to-cry-on tone] O, musta na? Busy ka ba?

DHG1: [in patent baby talk] Eto…

DHG1: [looks up to guy, gives out a cutesy sigh, and bats her eyelashes]

Another guy: [detects flirtation in the air]

Other guy/s: Talaga? Wawa ka naman…

Other guy/s: [sits beside DHG1, extends his arm over the shoulders of DHG1, gives her shoulders a squeeze]

DHG1: [gives out yet another sigh and leans on the open torso of the guy/s]

xtin: [in disgust and in thought] Naknampuchanamanoe. Alam mo, hija, kung nanay mo ako, makukurot talaga kita sa singit! Burikak ka na nga, salawahan pa! Ay santisima!


To be continued…

Metro Gwapito na ngayong 2009, Metro Gwapo sa 2010

WTF?!?

I have been so moved to write another post about my beloved BF (Bayani Fernando, of course...not boyfriend, pwede ba?). This catharsis was brought about not by the recent developments in Congress where some solons have (finally) realized how idiotic Metro Manila now looks after BF tickled it pink, but by a certain poster plastered on a large wall near the MMDA HQ along EDSA-Guadalupe:

HATE IT. Let me count the reasons why.

1. The poster has BF’s face on it. Need I say more? Actually, I think I do. If a year ago, our BF had a hilarious bad boy poster, he outshines that joke with this joke. What is the punch line this time, you ask? Isn’t it obvious? It is the way his pose tries so much to be candid. He tries so hard to be pensive here, but to me, he ends up looking really fake anyway.
2. It highlights the kind of brown-noser he is.
3. It depicts how his style of “developing” the metro actually made the metro more cluttered. Ang gulo naman kasi ng collage, eh no?
4. It suggests that what is actually clutter, he calls kaayusan and passes them off as his achievements in office.
5. It is a total waste. Of space. Of funds. And of time. Yours and, of course, mine.

I was trying to find time to take a picture of the poster myself. But then, I realized that I did not have to when I stumbled upon it over at the MMDA website. Wow. They’re really proud of it over there, aren’t they?

There are many things there in the website, actually, that most of us will find amusing, to say the least.

In my recent visit, I learned of MMDA’s new battle cry:

METRO GWAPITO NA NGAYONG 2009
METRO GWAPO SA 2010

2010, sir? Did you say 2010? Aba’y kung hindi ka naman ba isang dakot na presumable! You have assumed so many things. Among them are: one, that the word “gwapo” works well with you and; two, that no one will notice that your new battle cry is actually already a tagline for your presidential candidacy. You amaze me, sir, you do. Your class act amazes me.

Despite this amazement, come 2010, I reiterate that though I do not have the slightest idea who to vote for, I am sure who NOT to vote for. My vote will never be cast in favor of a brown noser or an engineer who likes to color his projects pink.

But I still want to thank BF. If not for his tasteful new posters along EDSA (one in EDSA-Guadalupe Northbound, another in EDSA-Magallanes Southbound), I would not have had the perfect opportunity to unburden myself of even just one nuisance in my life. Thanks na rin.

9 QUESTIONS TO 2009: WHY I NOTICE EVERYTHING [an away a day year-ender special]

"2008 will rock," a friend once said.

And indeed, it did. At least for this blog and for whatever purpose it wanted to serve. I have had so much fun putting together things and stories, all for our amusement. From gigster caps to shemaghs, douchebags to ang pinakamababang uri ng tao, from Starbucks Katipunan to KLCC Airport…and to cyberspace. True enough, this blog has somewhat served its purpose—I have vented out excess angst and laughed heartily along the way. Knowing that my persona has been unburdened by several angry and sarcastic posts, makes my 2008 rock harder.

Here's to a year of pintasera moments.
Here's to another year of bitch fits.
And here's to me, because…

I NOTICE EVERYTHING.

Yes, I do. I may even surprise you, as I have the select few that have recently met me and have witnessed my "gift". They note, "Napapansin mo lahat, noh?" to which I candidly respond with a giggle and an "I know, right?" I am remarkably attentive to even the most mundane things that would easily go unnoticed by a normal person.

So…does that imply that I'm ABnormal? Maybe. But that's a totally different post right there.

Whether or not I am a child of normalcy is not the issue. What is, though, are certain questions, answers to which will explain why I tend to notice everything.



Question #1
Why is it that when I'm in class and the professor shoots a question at me, I will most likely miss out on the answer?

Answer
I have been distracted by a classmate's fishnet stockings and a sudden song stuck in my head (I made it through the wilderness, somehow I made it through, I didn't know how lost I was until I found you)



Question #2
Why is it that when a friend is telling me some story, that is, as most stories tend to, taking too long to finish, it is not far of a possibility that I will zone out and stare into space?

Answer
I am taking notice of something else, say, the cute guy whose view is conveniently located behind my friend's head.



Question #3
Why is it that when I'm walking down the street, even when I seem to be busy "not looking", I am looking?

Answer
I am actually analyzing the science of your wearing a horrendous pair of boots.

Question #4
Why is it that when I'm in my ride to the office, rather than getting on with a nap, I'd look out the window? Or when I'm eating in a good restaurant, rather than getting on with my meal, I'd stop chewing food and stare at you just to mock you?

Answer
You are wearing a stupid scarf, the cultural meaning of which you have half an idea of.

Inevitably, I will go, "Pre, bakit? Malamig ba? Feeling mo ba may winter dito sa Pilipinas?"



Question #5
Why is it that when I'm boarding the plane, instead of just getting to my seat, I take my time looking at you?

Answers

1. I am caught off guard by your hideous Indiana Jones hat and the bald white guy you are with (which makes me ask the question, "What kind of BUSINESS is this girl into?")

2. I am utterly irked by your wearing a gigster cap

Question #6

Why is it that while in the airport, I might be on my way to the carousel to get my bag, but I will be stalled on my way by the sight of you?

Answers

1. You are wearing a blanket as a cape? (Superman, isdatchu?)
2. Your girlfriend thinks that cowboy hats have made its way back to the fashion mainstream

Question #7
Why is it that while hearing mass, I might look like I'm in deep reflection, but really, I'm reflecting on something miles away from spiritual enlightenment?

Answer
You're wearing a pair of sandals which is so typically jologs.

Question #8
Why is it that while in the mall, rather than busying myself with the ongoing sale, I'm more interested in looking around and staring at you?

Answers

1. You are an idiot whose outfit was inspired by a watermelon
2. The girl next to you has a ridiculous fashion ensemble

Question #9
Why is it that even while I surf the net, instead of keeping to news and current affairs sites, I am more interested in googling random things for a chance to INADVERTENTLY stumble upon your Friendster account?

Answers

1. Your barkada picture gives me sheer joy. It makes me want to listen to the Tagalog version of Low. Or the Tagalog version of Umbrella. Or just any Salbakuta song.
   

2. I love it that you are friends with celebrities.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!