THE VERDICT: People vs. A Couple of Heartless, Know-nothing, Scumbags of Society

WHEREFORE, the accused-appellants which we collectively identify as A COUPLE OF HEARTLESS, KNOW-NOTHING, SCUMBAGS OF SOCIETY, are found guilty of theft, destruction to property, and declared to be the PINAKAMABABANG URI NG TAO, a subspecies of MGA PATAY-GUTOM and are hereby sentenced to a shitty lifetime of misery because HINDI SILA, KAILANMAN, AASENSO, and are further ordered to subject themselves to XTIN’s verbal lashing in place of imprisonment and damages, actual and moral.

SO ORDERED.

I got a call while I was in the office last Friday. It was Cavite Kagawad WOODY MALLARI. He told me that a barangay patrolmen of his found some of my things, including my IDs, in a plastic bag, dumped in some talahiban along Aguinaldo Highway. Thank you, Sir, for contacting me.

This is as far as my gratitude could ever go, in this particular situation, I’m afraid.

I was sickened to know how much those mongrels (aka Couple of Heartless, Know-Nothing, Scumbags of Society) had taken when, the next day, my brother claimed our things or what was left of it.

I got my book back, thank God. At least I wouldn’t be spending some P1,250 just to buy a book that I have already bought months before. My cases and digests found their way back to me as well. Keys and IDs, too. But what disgusts me to the core is how these scumbags left behind evidence of their being pathetic vagrants and commoners to the study of law.


I had in my bag a pack of unused notebook fillers and they took that, understandably, as they were unused and mapapakinabangan pa naman. However, the ones that I got back, though, were the used ones, just like the picture above. But did you know that I had to tape up the pages of this filler because it was sliced off (see portion near spine where there is a bit of a gap where I had obviously put a transparent tape), leaving untouched the still unused pages of the filler. So why the crap did they have to cut those pages up? To my mind, there is only one valid but pathetic reason. They must’ve thought that they could still profit from a half-used filler notebook that they decided to cut off those used-up pages and leave those clean leaves behind. My gosh. Matindi talaga ang pangangailangan. I guess they just realized that it was pointless and hassling to cut each and every used page in my other 4 filler notebooks, that is why there was this just one notebook torn up.

Further, as expected, they took all the “valuable” stuff: the bag, perfume, mp3 player, etc. but what I found most repulsive is the fact that they even took my 20-peso plastic envelope and my 8-peso credit card holder, even my office ID lace. What the crap? Seriously?

I LOATHE YOU. NAKAKADIRI KAYO. YOU DESERVE NOTHING BUT A MISERABLE LIFE. A QUALITY OF LIVING WORTHY OF MEN OF YOUR LOWLY AND PATHETIC STATURE.

You don’t even deserve to be in jail. All you should get is a word (or two) that will drag you down and put you in your place. And, expectedly, I would be really glad to personally extend those KIND words to you—

YOU UNEDUCATED HALF-WITS. Leche kayo.

People vs. A Couple of Heartless, Know-nothing, Scumbags of Society (A Case of the Day When I Was Robbed)

The undersigned accuses A COUPLE OF HEARTLESS, KNOW-NOTHING, SCUMBAGS OF SOCIETY of the crime of theft and destruction to property, committed as follows:

That on or about the 17th day of August, 2008, in the City of Tagaytay, Cavite, Philippines, the said COUPLE OF HEARTLESS, KNOW-NOTHING, SCUMBAGS OF SOCIETY, with intent to gain and without violence or intimidation against the person or force against the thing, did then and there, willfully, unlawfully, and feloniously, effect entry into a parked motor vehicle by breaking a window thereof, to subsequently take, steal, and carry away two (2) backpacks, containing various personal effects and other things of significance, the property of XTIN and her brother, without the consent of the owners thereof, to the damage and prejudice of the said XTIN and her brother in some sum beyond the comprehension of mere commoners, particularly those unfamiliar to the study of law and the law of karma and samsara. ALL CONTRARY TO LAW.

It was just last Sunday when my family and I went to Tagaytay for an overnight affair with other relatives. It was supposed to be my first family get-together for a long time since I started working and attending school. I have not had enough time to go spend time with my relatives, even though they do hold these get-togethers quite frequently, because frankly, I'd rather lose a part of my social life and get passing marks in school, rather than have the time of my life in some family vacation and flunk it all. You might not get it, that's okay. But if you don't, I think your are what the abovementioned information says--a mere commoner, oblivious to the life of the study of law.

Yes, I was robbed. Our backpacks were taken away from the inside of my brother's SUV parked on the side of some dirtroad of the main road of Tagaytay. It was not so much as a breath after we alighted and went into my relatives' villa when news broke that someone crashed the window of the SUV and took our stuff. Seriously, there was not even ten minutes.

My sister-in-law told me that my bag could have also been stolen so I went back to the car and checked. I pressed my face against the back window and saw just the void where my backpack used to sit.

And there was darkness.

My entire TNF Jester (vietnam-overrun, ty kumon) was taken. I was not concerned that: (1) my three-month old 16gb Creative Zen which I opted to pay in installments and which I am still on my fourth installment was in the bag; nor was (2) my half-consumed bottle Burberry Summer; (3) bag of toiletries complete with papaya soap, lotion, deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, toothbrush, toothpaste, dental floss, and tictacs; (4) wallet, without money, but with all my valid IDs and important cards (PRC license, office and school IDs, TIN card, Visa, UCPB-BPI-MBTC ATM cards [blocking all of which, by the way, was particulary an easy task except for BPI, for which it took me ten minutes to contact the customer service representative--24-hour hotline my ass], library card, and Form 5; even my (5) keys to the house, unit, office locker, and computer lock. These were, yes, important and theoretically of value to me. But the loss of these things were nothing compared to the loss of something else, also in the bag.

In the bag also were my school materials. My commentary on Persons and Family Relations by Albano. My copies of Supreme Court cases, in the original, under legal separation under Prof. RDM's class. My pencil case. And, above all, my handwritten digests of 65 cases for RDM's class which were supposed to be due--this coming Wednesday.

Tough break, xtin. Tough break.

So, if you impute no value to the last set of losses I endured or find it difficult to comprehend, I must say that, again, you are merely a commoner to me and to the rest of us who are students of law. I have never asserted, in this degree and manner, the post-graduated course I have taken. But, the loss of my bag, especially my digests, truly breaks my heart.


To the COUPLE OF HEARTLESS, KNOW-NOTHING, SCUMBAGS OF SOCIETY that took my bag and my brother's as well, I will pray for the eternal repose of your souls. But seeing that you may not have souls at all, I'll just pray for your spontaneous, yet peaceful, imploding and combustion.

But when our paths do cross in the future, better prepare yourselves. I expect so much from you.

(1) I expect you to enroll to the College of Law next year and be ready and equipped for RDM's Persons and Family Relations class. You must ace even just the midterm, at least. My school stuff will help you out on that.

(2) You must look generally presentable--if not downright boy-next-doorish. You must have fresh breath, smooth, silky, straight hair, and a mild, refreshing citrus scent. You must have all these or a girlfriend who does, at least. My bag of toiletries will make you over.

(3) You must be Upbeat and Burning the Dance Floor with the playlists on my MP3 player.

(4) You must feel disappointment for finding out that I was able to block each and every card in that wallet you got from me, within 30 minutes after you violated our property. [no thanks to BPI and their 24-hour hotline]

(5) You must be scared to death. Because I might be praying for your peaceful departure from this earth, but that should not give you any idea that I will have some hesitation in personally effecting your demise.

Mga leche kayo.

Love, xtin.

No picture was taken of the crime scene because, truth be told, I was in shock. Hindi ko kinaya. Sayang.

The Most Unique Kind of B.O. [and other things that went (horribly) wrong during my trip to Legaspi]

DAY 1

In keeping with the tradition of Filipino time. Our flight to Legaspi was delayed for two hours. Many thanks to the newly opened NAIA Terminal 3 and the ever-efficient personnel who work there. Apparently, according to the pilot, the delay was due to the congestion in that aesthetically-wonderful, but poorly-performing airport. A lot of flights were delayed that morning, and since the airport (or its personnel) are still not used to handling such kind of traffic, the delay rolled to the rest of the afternoon: classic ripple effect.

Welcome to Legaspi. When we got there, we went around a bit to see which hotel we could stay at. We were not looking, mind you, for accommodations close to spectacular, because my companions and I were simply the type who just needs a bed to sleep on, just a clean one, though. We found ourselves at the reception of what its management had decided to call it The Sampaguita Ho[spi]tel, insertion supplied; pun intended. The five of us were really a bit lost on what kind of room to get to fit us all in so, like any other curious customer would, we asked the receptionist. Oh, wait, the receptionists. Plural, friends, plural, as there were at least three girls at the counter. But three heads will not always be better than one. As it turned out, the grandiose Sampaguita Ho[spi]tel had unknowingly employed the three stupidest and worst receptionists in the whole of Bicol Region. It's not as if our questions were derived from some MENSA questionnaire: Pwede ba ang mag-add ng extra bed sa isang standard room? Magkano ang extra bed? Meron pa bang family room? They gave us no answers. Only the stupid look on their faces—the kind you would want badly to slap back and forth. Yeah, they were hellish, but hey, the five of us were not about to wander around homeless for the next two days. We checked in anyway.

Pictures courtesy of virtualtourist.com (Above) The facade of hotel Sampaguita, reminiscent of Medical Center Paranaque (Left) The room rates the receptionists were not able to explain to us...

receptionist: Ma'am bawal po ang extra bed...

xtin: eh bakit kayo may rates for extra beds? ABER???

DAY 2
Being in Legaspi and not seeing Mayon. I was looking forward to seeing the world-famous "perfect cone" volcano. The one that I often saw just in my HEKASI books. Alas, the skies were not about to pave its way to satisfy my whim. It was cloudy and raining hard, even, so the most that we saw of Mayon Volcano was its base. The rest of the view was gray and gloomy.

Collar-ups in Sampaguita Hotel. Nothing to say here. A picture's worth a thousand words.

DAY 3

Going back home and still keeping with the tradition of Filipino Time. Our flight back was delayed as well. For 3 whole hours, this time. The thing still to blame was the newly opened terminal 3 and the congestions. Same old, same old. The passengers were agitated. And so were we…

The most unique kind of B.O. As if the delay was not enough, we still had to be intoxicated with some foreign smell (foreign being the operative word, as you may later find out why). SHET. ANG BAHO. SERIOUSLY. The only way to describe the foul smell is with this…have you ever had that drawer in your fridge where your mom puts all the vegetables in…the CRISPER? When you open the CRISPER, it's a mix of smells…of all the vegetables, both fresh and rotting…of bell pepper, lettuce, onion, carrots…are you getting the idea? Basta…that was the type of smell we had to contend with. It was B.O. obviously and all we had to do was to find out who was stinking the whole terminal up. And not too long after…we did find the culprit… (see guy standing up, in black shirt)

We're not even sure if it was just this guy or the rest of his group.

One thing's for sure, if it was not ALL of them, it was indeed ONE of them. Based on observation, these people came all the way from CWC and apparently, since they had to catch their flight, they did not have time to take a bath. They went straight from wakeboarding to boarding the damn plane. ANG BAHO PROMISE. Actually, we were originally seated in the third row, but since we could not stand the smell of the group behind us, we had to transfer to the first row. It was not just us. The smell was not a figment of our imagination. One other group who was staying at the last row, behind the MABAHO group, also transferred to the row behind us, just so they could breathe some fresh, uncontaminated air. It was THAT bad. SERIOUSLY.

Gigster caps, Koreans, and other Douchebags in Terminal 3. I don't think I would have to describe in detail these half-wits. Just look at the pictures.

Tama ba namang kasing mag-boxers sa airport eh, noh???

Quintessential Pinoy Douche: Total HipHop Getup

Sando. Zebra prints. Korean. Nice.

Gigster cap. So anong tinatawa-tawa mo diyan???

Ahhh…so many things went wrong those three days. The only good thing that came out of that streak of horrible occurences is this blog entry. This is pretty much it. All I could wish for now is for none of you to smell the CRISPER ever again.

Wall of Fun at Glorietta 4

Demn. Some of the faces were hellishly funny [or just plain disturbing?]

I haven't had the time the past week to come up with a more thoughtful entry. But this one, I couldn't have it pass me by. It deserves a bit of my pintasera prowess, at least.

Just this lunch break, my officemates and I ate out over at Food Choices at G4. When we were done and heading back to the office, on our way, we passed by this hall--the one connecting the Hard Rock/TGIF area to Food Choices (cannot really describe where it is, as it is pretty much an abandoned area of the mall, just refer to the image below)--and saw a great big wall of pictures...all headshots.

Location of the big wall of amusement

My officemates taking their time to pay their respect to "The Wall"

You could just imagine the overwhelming feeling that consumed me the moment I saw that wall--a huge wall. Full of pictures. Headshots. Of many different people. Even of [f]ugly ones.

"Yes," I thought while looking up the wall, my eyes glistening with excitement, like a child on Christmas morning, "Let me take a moment of silence to thank God for giving me this wonderful opportunity...Enough silence. "

#1 SHAHANI

looks a bit like...

Well, maybe SHAHANI was made to look like the Golden Buddha on purpose (for sure!) But I think the Golden Buddha could take some "pose and project" tips from SHAHANI...

#2 NO-NAME

Man as man can get. Minus the plunging neckline and cleavage, that is.

#3 MAX

What a pose! My gosh! Super laugh trip...for a while there I thought our dear MAX was holding a samurai. Then, I just realized that MAX is no ninja...he's a divine DIVA! Hahaha

#4 JR

looks a bit like...

My precious............

So if you're raring to go to Glorietta to take a crack at this wonderful wall put up by Headshot Clinic, wait for another minute. All those nicely taken pictures, the beautiful and the [f]ugly, you can now view online at PROJECT HEADSHOT CLINIC ONE WORLD MANILA

ENJOY!!!